Looking Out My Back Window #136

Originally posted on Facebook HERE

Up before the sun again today, but I just can’t do another lamp reflection photo, so here’s a different look for the day. Thinking a lot about decision making lately. Decisions affect us in so many ways – and they can cause a great deal of stress as well. How do we make the right decisions? Often we don’t know until we’ve already moved forward and started to see the results. But even then, what seems like a bad decision can lead to an unexpected result in some other area for us. Often decisions can be seen as “head vs. heart”. If only it was that easy. We’re certainly a “want what we want when we want it” society. So, you see the new car, the new refrigerator, the new boat – whatever it is and start thinking, “man, I want that” – then you start thinking about things like “do I really need it?”, “can I afford it”, “will it create more financial stress than it’s worth?”, etc… and the war is on. Typical “head vs. heart” battles go something like that – where the heart is seen as wanting something and the head is the voice of reason. I’m not really sure this is the right way to look at it, though. My experience is more about listening to what I consider is the heart – the part of us in touch with God, or our conscience, or love – where peace resides, and seeing what that feels like. I had massive issues with this early in my recovery from drug and alcohol addiction – because I was so out of touch with listening to what I think the “voice of reason” really is – which is our internal alarm system. You know, at one point in my life – when I was fourteen years old – I made the decision to start drinking and doing drugs. At FOURTEEN. My grandson is thirteen now. I was taking acid when I was fourteen. I just can’t even fathom him doing something like that. I used drugs and alcohol for the next fifteen years. It’s affected my entire life to this day. One decision made forty-six years ago. Was it a bad decision? Hard to say. I wouldn’t be who I am today without being who I was back then. It has really made me conscious of letting my life be guided by honesty, integrity, love, generosity, and daily contact with God as I know Him. I’ve lived the other way and have no interest in going back. So… what created a lot of stress and anxiety in my life for years turned out in the end to be maybe one of the best things that ever happened to me. And now, when it comes time to make a decision – we’ve had many to make lately – I really try to get in touch with a much deeper reality by listening to my conscience. If it doesn’t “feel” right, even if it all looks good on paper, I’m walking away. Almost every time I haven’t I’ve made a questionable decision, and thought “I should have listened to my gut, dammit”… or “I knew that didn’t feel right when I did it”… Chances of getting every decision right are slim to none, so I just hope to make better decisions by getting more in touch with God through prayer and meditation, then really listening for that guidance before moving forward. Always. Like anything, the more you do it the better you get at it. Not always easy to know what’s really your conscience, and what’s your obsession when it comes to emotions. Once a decision has been made, even if it doesn’t seem to be working out – look for what the lesson was. I tend to think there was a reason even seemingly bad decisions were made, and that even those decisions will serve us if we look for the lesson held within. Our heads are full of obsessions, our hearts know what’s right.

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