Looking Out My Back Window #194

Originally posted on Facebook HERE

Easter Sunday. Nice day for it. I’m not sure why this is the case, but I had to do a decent amount of driving on Friday and Saturday and everyone seemed to be driving way faster than usual. Like – noticeably faster. Just blowing by me, and I was my normal 7 miles over the speed limit. Must be an Easter thing. Anyway, this week I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I compare basically everything I do with other people. I gotta believe that’s how a lot of people are, most likely most people if we’re honest with ourselves. Certainly musicians. The old joke is “why does it take twelve musicians to screw in a light bulb?”… A: one to do it, eleven to say they could do it better. But really, in so many things whether consciously or not I’m always comparing myself to what people around me are doing, whether it’s at work, or with music, working out, or just where we’re at in life. And I’m extremely hard on myself, too. No matter what there’s always someone doing better. At one point in my life writing a book was a huge goal for me. Took me many year before I first published a book, and as of this writing I’ve published five books. I do allow myself some satisfaction from getting it done. But then I see other people publish their books, sell more copies, get more recognition and I start to wonder why I even do it at all. It’s a lot of work, I don’t sell very many of them, and certainly lose money every time I publish something. That can be very discouraging. Yet I keep doing it. I’m trying to become a better musician as well, working on my bass playing as well as trying to learn how to sing better, and wow – there’s just so many fantastic musicians you can see on the internet now, leagues beyond anywhere I’ll ever be, that it once again makes me wonder why I even bother. Yet I keep doing it. At work, and I love my job, I’m in a position to help people in extremely meaningful ways every single day. It’s really an awesome thing. It’s also competitive, though. And because of how I do things I’ve had to come to grips with not always being as high as I’d like to be when the production reports are sent out on a monthly basis. Yet I keep doing it. I work out a lot, and I work on myself mentally a lot with reading, yoga, writing, running, and strength training. No matter how hard I work, how long I work at it, or how far I get, there’s always someone who did more, got farther, or is in better shape than I am. Sometimes it seems like they didn’t even have to work on it at all. Yet I keep doing it. But in all those instances, and many more I haven’t even mentioned – I’m constantly comparing myself to others. I have an inner drive to be number one in everything I do. It’s an impossible task. I know this about myself, though. And through it all I keep going because I’ve come to believe that none of the comparison stuff really matters at all. The only thing that really matters is being the number one best David Geschke I can be. And that’s all we can ever hope for. To do everything we can to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be with the talents we were given. On that topic, I think I’m doing pretty good. And the only thing to compare it to is myself. So, if I strive to be a better version of myself every day (and I know I do), then what more can I ask from life? That’s really the only comparison worth making 🙂

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