Originally posted on Facebook HERE
I feel like no matter what I do, I never have enough time to do anything the way I’d really like to do it. The speed that things come at us with at work forces me to move quickly so I can get as much done as possible within the framework of the day. Can’t really sit back, relax and be calm before moving on – because, no matter what pace we’re moving at – the day moves faster. So I stay as long as possible, go in almost every Saturday and sometimes on Sundays and Holidays as well in an attempt to stay current. Which doesn’t leave a lot of time for anything else, like music for example. I’d like to promote The Fusion Project more, maybe book a show or two, continue writing riffs for the next album, and play and record more videos for my YouTube channel – but I get little bits of time to work on that. So, when I do make a video I often leave flubs in that a lot of people wouldn’t. I don’t really have the time to mess with learning things that would create better videos, either – and even if I did, by the time I got back to do another video a month later, I would have forgotten what I learned anyway. So I put out a product that’s ok but nowhere near as good as it could be if I had more time to work on it. I do take the time to write these posts every week, too. This is maybe the one thing I do where I feel like I can take the time to go back, reread, edit, etc… and make sure it’s a decent read. The content just comes, so I never argue with what was written when I get to the end. And I do like to then publish each year in book form as well. I’ve been writing these for seven years now and have published the first four years in book form, I’m still “working on” year number five… and six and seven are already written. So is half of year eight as well… I just never seem to put time aside to get it done. I like to read and journal every day. I try to excercise and meditate every day. It all takes time. Once in a while, I get some sleep in there, too. I guess I average five to six hours a night. Not even close to enough. What happens then is I’m almost always in a constant state of hurry. So much to do, so little time… so life flows in order of prioritization. I’d say work is my #1 priority, and has been for a long time now. It takes up most of my time. That might bother me if I didn’t really like my job and feel like we make a difference for the people we work with – and in a big way, too. It’s extremely rewarding. And extremely demanding as well. It can never be shut off entirely. So, there’s always a voice in the back of my head keeping tabs on where things are at, what I need to get done, what order to do it in, and what’s coming up in the next day, week and month. Then there’s my own personal demands on where I’m at physically. I’m always thinking about what can I do to eat better, sleep more, get more cardio in, and stay as healthy and fit as possible. I still love to play music, too. It would be great if I could spend more time in the music room, creating music and making videos that maybe showcased more of my playing rather than just reviewing different gear all the time. That takes time and effort. So, there’s like – an electricity that is always running through me. Like a “buzzing”, you know? Trying to fit 32 hours of stuff into every 24 hour day will do that. I don’t think I always lived this way. In some aspects, though, I think it might have been one of the reasons I took to alcohol and drugs at a young age. After a six pack or two my mind would maybe calm down a bit, I guess. But… that proved to not be a very good solution at all, either. So here I am full of electricity for the day ahead, and I’m really ok with it for now. I do the best I can with the time I’m allotted. I’m never bored. I have a lot of things I love to do, and I do find ways to work on them all. And the days blow by, too. But, if we could just maybe make a 32 hour day from now on somehow, I’d be ok with that (especially if the extra eight hours were daylight). Is this all normal or what?… what is “normal”, anyway?… maybe that will be a topic for next week. In the meantime, remember that no matter what you have going on in your life – approach every moment with love in your heart. It’s the secret to living a happy life.
