Originally posted on Facebook HERE
I’m aware of my heartbeat. I can feel it today. Seems like it’s beating with more intensity than ever before. In the past week, I’ve found myself being aware of my heartbeat more than I maybe have been my entire life preceding last Sunday, when out of the blue I felt a “flutter” in my chest. Now, I have written a lot about making the most of the time we have on this earth because you never know how much time we have – but all of us, myself included – think and read things like that thinking in some aspect it’s true, but really more for “other” people, because I’m going to live forever… or at least a long, fulfilling life. I’ve seen my share of people die or be disabled way before their time – car accidents, cancer, my own mother was greatly affected from ecoli poisoning, strokes, dementia, suicide… in my business I deal with a lot of people and I’ve had many, many conversations with individuals who were told their time on earth will be coming to an end soon. I’ve sat with the families left behind after a loved one passes away. We will all pass away. All of us. We all have limited time. Even what we consider a “long” life – 90/100 years? That isn’t that much time when you think about it. And one day, when you’re just sitting there, and you’re heart “flutters”… well, you realize just how fragile life is. I’m as regimented as anyone I know when it comes to health – I run every day, do yoga every day, meditate and journal every day, I’m a vegetarian and watch what and when I eat very closely, weigh myself every day, and I can’t see living my life any other way. All of that is very important to me. So, if there’s anything I don’t expect – it’s a health issue. That’s for other people. Until it isn’t. Last Sunday I felt the “flutters” for the first time. Monday it was a bit worse. I got into the clinic Monday, had all kinds of tests (EKG, blood work, etc) – all good. By Tuesday they started to subside. Wednesday-Friday I wore a heart monitor, and had no issues the entire time (of course). So, what was it? Unknown right now. But, here’s what is known: when you call to make an appointment with a doctor because you’re feeling an abnormal fluttering in your chest, you can’t help but think about your own mortality. And since last Sunday, I’m way more aware of my heartbeat, and my breath. We really do just take those simple things for granted. And when I’m aware of my heartbeat, like I am right now – I start to wonder, “Is it beating harder than usual? Is it going faster than it should? What did my heartbeat feel like before I started to be aware of it?”… I’ve been alive for over 60 years now, and I have no idea what my “normal” heartbeat felt like before I started to become more aware of it in the past week. And when I become aware of my heartbeat, it naturally leads to being aware of my breathing. Growing up with asthma, and at one point taking medication on a daily basis for years to control it, I know the importance of getting full breaths, and what it feels like not to. Breathe today. Breathe in every good thing life has to offer, and why spend time on anything that doesn’t serve you? Mortality isn’t about anyone but you. Don’t wait until it’s too late to do anything to realize it. Seize every moment. Because there will come a time – for you, for me, for all of us – when the moments will end. And no matter how much we try to determine when that will be – that choice won’t be ours.
