Originally posted on Facebook HERE
Up stupid early today. Took this photo. I like being up before everyone else in the entire world, though. Just a great, peaceful, slow pace. No agenda. I love it. Which becomes part of a bizarre issue then… Around 4am every morning I wake up either to use the bathroom or change sleeping positions, and when I do it can be really hard to get back to sleep. One of the reasons for that is because my fast mind starts to take over and run though everything I need to do for the day… for sure, that’s an issue. I slept soundly and usually had no problem going back to sleep on our recent vacation. But there’s also a part of me that just wants to get up to have as much time alone in the morning as possible as well. It’s the most relaxing part of my day. On vacation, it’s all relaxing, so I don’t have that internal drive to wake up and spend time alone before I get into all the hectic activity that awaits me during a normal day at home. While I love that time of the morning, I also value the importance of getting enough sleep. Sunday’s are usually the one day a week where we don’t have anything scheduled so I could sleep in late and not have to worry about being somewhere or doing something, but I’m so far behind at work that I have to go in for a full day later today. Thus the 3:45am wake up call this morning. And I’m ok with that. Everything works in cycles. Right now I’m in the “work has never been this busy, get up early to properly set the day up” mode. But that’ll change. I’ll get back into a more stringent workout routine again, too – which helps get into a normal sleep pattern. And we’ve got other vacations planned as well. I’m just trying to learn how to surrender to what my inner self is good with at any given point. Before we went on vacation, my workouts had become very disciplined and rigid. That’s usually not a sign they were being governed by my inner self, it’s a sign the ego had taken over and was driving the fitness bus. Gotta do it. Every day. Can’t miss a day. It’s really hard for me to do things in moderation. I’m usually either all in or I’m out. When I’m focused on getting something done, that’s a great quality to have. But anything can get old when you feel like it’s being forced on you. Even if it’s your own self doing the forcing. Surrendering to the moment, enjoying whatever happens, being calm in the face of aggravations and difficulties… I’m working on it. Usually in the morning before anyone else gets up 🙂
