Originally posted on Facebook HERE
Still not feeling 100% yet today. Whatever this is sure wants to linger. Weak lungs, weak physically, but certainly on the mend now anyway. The first few days I had whatever this is, I started thinking a lot about my own mortality. I’m closer now to death than I am to birth having passed 65 years on the planet last year. On my death bed, what would I look back on with pride? What are the things I could do with whatever time I have left to say “job well done”? My first thoughts went to two things that somewhat surprised me, I guess — these weekly writings, which I’ve done for going on eight years now, and the last two albums we released with The Fusion Project. I have been publishing these weekly posts in book form — right now, the first four years are available, and I’m still working on the 5th edition (even though the 6th and 7th editions have already been written as well). The books really don’t sell at all — maybe ten copies each at most. The last album the band released a couple months ago will get a decent amount of streams but most likely sell less than 100 copies, if that — probably not even close to that many. So, what is there to be proud of? Writing a weekly blog very few people read… Publishing books nobody cares about… Writing and recording an album I think is a masterpiece that very few people will ever listen to?… I’m not doing it for the recognition. If I was, I’d consider all of that an incredible failure. I fight with the competitive side of me that wants me to see it that way. What’s the point? Nobody cares. If you were actually good at any of it, people would notice… etc, etc, etc… because inside of me, I know. I know the value of these posts. I know the quality of the music we wrote and recorded. And I’m extremely proud of all of it. I also know, that while my audience might be small — I am touching others in a positive way every week. The music and the books will be available long after I’m gone. I have created a bunch of content that I’m extremely proud of. And that’s all that matters, right? Being true to yourself. Giving what you can, in whatever way you can. And it seemed odd to me that these were the first two things that came to mind when I have also managed to build a huge financial services business worth millions of dollars that will ensure nobody in our immediate family will ever want for money in their lifetimes. You’d think that one would have been #1. It’s certainly something I’m proud of. I worked my ass off to get here. I still do. We affect the lives of our clients in a positive way every day. I love it. Our office was recognized on national levels by my former company as well as winning a national award last year from my current company as well. All three of those things have one common theme — affecting the lives of someone else in a positive way. So, as I started thinking about what I could do from now until the day I die so I can look back with pride on a life well lived, well… I can do that now. I think if I can manage to keep myself physically and mentally healthy along the way, I’d be proud of that as well, and I think I have some serious work to do in that regard yet, but… if you know me, or my wife — I hope that it’s obvious where our hearts are at. The two of us are very different in how we give, but we are grateful people who help others any way we can, whenever we can. And when you live from that grateful, giving place inside — you can look back on your life with pride and think “job well done”. We get one shot at this. Let’s create rather than destroy. Let’s love rather than hate. Let’s give rather than take. Let’s die knowing we did the best we could with the time we were given. I wish you all the best on your journey today, and always. Face every day with love in your heart and the future will take care of itself.
