Originally posted on Facebook HERE
There’s a place inside our heads where every stupid thing we’ve ever said or done in our lives are stored, and every now and then one of them will just pop into our heads for seemingly no apparent reason. Right?… God, I hope I’m not the only one here. And I’m not really talking necessarily about big, memorable mistakes here, either. Just small, embarrassing things we said or did, often years ago — that seem to linger. I have a few that recur. These were very small snippets in time, too. Either something I said or did that wasn’t received well, or that now looking back I see it with a different perspective — and it hurts me that I could have been so cruel, or maybe insensitive at the time. Many are just offhand remarks. For instance — years ago, I used the word “toots” a lot. Usually just with friends and family. Like — “look, toots — here’s the deal, see?”… when I used it at the time, I saw it as endearing. But in the mid-90s it slipped into a conversation I was having with a women I actually liked a lot who was manning a booth by mine at the state fair. It wasn’t received well at all. Just typing about it makes me cringe. Yesterday, I had a memory pop into my head from back when I was a vacuum cleaner salesman (Electrolux) — where I just really didn’t handle it well. Now, I did hundreds of appointments during the time I worked for Electrolux from 1990–1998. There are only a few that stick in my memory banks (not all are bad — it’s how I met my wife, but I digress)… but why is it that that one remains? Why is it the only interview I ever did when I was a manager back then that really sticks in my head is one where I said something that I wish I could have taken back as soon as the words were out of my mouth? And, why do these weird, small, embarrassing moments just pop into my head at random sometimes? Often there is no way to go back and make it right. I could never find the people involved in the conversations and events above, even if I tried. They were 30 years ago. Probably the people on the other side of things wouldn’t even remember them today, yet there they are. Recurring, embarrassing moments that still come up once in a while all these years later. So, here’s how I see them today. I see them as reminders about how far I’ve come. I see them as reminders that it’s important to watch what you say and how you say it. I see it a reminder that who I was is not who I am, or who I will be in the future. I also see it as a reminder that no matter what we do, we’re all human. And I will be on the other side of someone else’s embarrassing moment as well every now and then. And to maybe have some compassion for that. Because we’re all just trying to get through life the best we can, right? And nobody’s perfect. And maybe I should just love and accept myself the way I am, always striving to be better. A better person. A better husband. A better musician. A better advisor. And along the way, cut myself and those around me just a bit of slack. Because sometimes we just need to forgive to open a path to love. And forgiveness starts from within. And an open, loving heart is a priceless thing to have. I approach every day with this attitude. I hope you do, too. There is way too much anger and anxiety and sadness and depression in the world today. Let’s do what we can, every day, to tip the scales towards love and understanding.
