Looking Out My Back Window #132

Originally posted on Facebook HERE

The view out my back window at this time of day is really the view in my back window even though I’m looking out. I’m sure there’s some metaphysical analogy that could be made there – like we all get caught up in looking outside ourselves for validation when the only thing that matters is really how we feel within, but that’s not what I was looking to write about today. What I was looking to write about today was solitude. I love this time of the day, nothing going on at all, and I’m the only one up. It’s quiet. Great time to meditate, to journal, to read. As an only child growing up I’ve always felt comfortable being alone. I think in many ways I need time to myself to reflect or I can get cranky. Some people might say I’m cranky either way I guess, but they’d be wrong ? – at any rate, ever since I quit drugs and alcohol over thirty one years ago, daily reflection has been important to me. Mornings are my favorite time for that. I’m not sure how you can really get in touch with what is right for you, where your life is heading, without meditation. If we don’t periodically look within we get sucked into life without – the life that is narrated for us by our ego. And that is often a life at odds with our heart. We get a blip to work with. A blip on the continuum of eternity is what we have to work with in our time here on Earth. Every second brings unlimited opportunity. So how do we spend our time? Worrying about what other people think. Arguing about politics. Comparing ourselves to others. I’ve done my share of all of that. But at this point in my life, I want to be in touch with what my heart yearns for, and work on that – even if it makes no sense “on paper”. Im not sure how you would ever really know what that is without looking within and getting in touch with yourself, your God, and the unseen ocean of love that waits within all of us if we just seek it through meditation. Journaling is also important to me. A few years ago I read “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron” (a great book), and in it she recommends doing something called “Morning Pages” – write three pages a day. Just “stream of thought” writing – write whatever is on your mind. You might think you could never write three pages a day, but can you turn your thoughts off? No. Write your thoughts. It can be interesting and eye opening. Some days you’ll blow right through it, other days you’ll get stuck. How is it possible to get stuck? Thoughts keep going, just write that – I’m telling you, you’ll get stuck. Even if writing isn’t a creative outlet for you, even if what you write is just a daily synopsis of the previous day,it doesn’t matter. You’ll learn about yourself, and tune into the creative flow by doing morning pages. Of the three things I try to do every morning (meditate, journal & read), this is the one I’m most consistent with. I love it. It’s important to me. A great way to start the day. And the third thing – read. I love to read. Since I read my first “self-help” book back in 1990 (Napoleon Hill’s classic “Think and grow rich”) I’ve pretty much stuck with self-help, spiritual and/or biographies as the content of almost every book I’ve read. Back then, I was new in sobriety and just trying to get a better view of myself, who I was, and life in general. Because I still had a lot of “negative mindset” held over from years of using. And somewhere along the line, it just became a way of life for me. I need to continually keep a flow of good thoughts and information coming in, and I do that via reading. My favorite time for that is also in the morning. I’ve kind of had that morning trifecta ritual going for many, many years now. Some days I don’t have time. Some days only enough time to do some of it. But we’ll never know where the compass of our life is pointing without occasionally seeing where “North” is. Solitude is great for that.

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