Originally posted on Facebook HERE
I used a “vivid” filter on the photo today. I basically never use filters on my photos, but this week I’ve been thinking about how everything we say, or do, or look at, comes to us through our own personal filter. And, as many people as there are, ever have been, or ever will be on earth – the filters we use to process information are totally unique to only ourselves, and nobody else. So, while watching the same tv show, or concert, or sporting event – we all have our own filters that determine what our experience will be. I think we all have a sort of “default” setting that oversees everything. Some people are very “black and white”, for example. “This is right, this is good, that is wrong, that is bad”… without a lot of gray areas… others are more apt to see things a bit more freely, but no matter who we are, there will be people, places and/or events that will push our buttons. Some buttons are amazing – love. Awe. Gratitude. Music can just overwhelm you sometimes, what a great feeling…. And others aren’t so great – anger. Frustration. Anxiety. Small events can trigger a negative reaction that can mess up our whole day, if we let it. The trick here is to recognize that no matter what it is… politics, religion, sports, an offhand remark from a friend we didn’t like, the dog being sick on the carpet, a flat tire…. When something hits the “anger and frustration” buttons… we don’t have to default to that. We can feel the feelings well up inside ourselves and stop for a second. Am I really this mad because my friend is talking smack about my team?… or I have to clean up a mess?… or someone had a car accident?… and, if so – how much of my life am I willing to give up to feel angry, sad, lonely, frustrated, anxious and desperate? We will feel those emotions throughout our lives. Will you wallow in them? Why on earth would we choose to wallow in the feelings that bring us no joy at all? Yet, people do this all the time. Like they have no choice, the world handed them a pile of crap and they’re just going to sit there and say, this is now where I’m at. My life in the crap pile. As an alternative, we could realize our situation and look for ways to clean up and move forward with our lives, right? But if your default setting is “life is crap”, that’s what you’ll see. There are other ways to look at things. Why not try “everything works out in a way that benefits me in the long run”?… I like that one myself. Something bad happens, I get all pissed off, and I start thinking – “man, that really made me angry. I wonder why? What button did he push there? What can I learn from this? Is there a deep seated root cause that explains why that affected me like it did?”… I think it has really helped me a lot since I changed my thinking on this. Years ago, I’d just get pissed off and let that anger fester. “I hate that guy, that place, that viewpoint”… I think I’m much more tolerant now, and also better at realizing people, places and conversations to stay away from so I don’t get angry in the first place. What is your default filter these days? Are you pissed off, or hurt, or sad about something? I’m not saying we shouldn’t feel all those emotions, it’s part of being human – just saying we don’t have to let future moments be colored by events of the past unless we want them to be. It’s our decision. And there will always be amazing things that happen to us as well, many born out of the times we got through challenges we were faced with, and are now on the other side. Everything is amazing. Everything that happens to us serves us for the better, if we believe it to be true. Make sure you check your default filter now and then. Change as needed…
