Originally posted on Facebook HERE
Every once in a while a disparaging thought will just pop into my head for no apparent reason. It’ll be a memory of some stupid thing I said or did years ago. Often, not even anything overly horrific, but just an offhand remark I made, or something I thought was funny or true at the time that makes me cringe when I think about it now. I think we all keep thoughts like that in our subconscious minds. I keep mine in a folder called “reasons why I’m an asshole”. I don’t take those memories out and look at them at all if I can avoid it, but – every now and then one will sneak past the firewall and just be right there in my face. Hey moron! Remember the dumb, embarrassing thing you said in 1986? You’re a jerk. And sometimes that’ll open the floodgates of the entire folder, too. Obviously there’s something in there that makes these memories stick. Most of them I see as extremely embarrassing, which is why I’m not giving any examples here. I let myself down. I wasn’t kind. I hurt someone. And I’m starting to think that maybe I need to purposely look at what’s going on here. Why do these really weird, often small events stick in my head? How can I resolve this within myself? I think they need to be looked at and accepted for what they are. Valuable learning experiences. I never want to do that again, or say something like that, or hurt someone that way… ever again. The “reasons why I’m an asshole” folder actually has great value in that regard. It helps me move forward as a better person. I’m renaming it today to the “stupid things I’ve said and done in the past that help me to be a better person today” folder. Ah – that’s better. Now, when one pops into my head I’ll think about why it showed up, and what the message is. Because it certainly isn’t “you’re an asshole”. I can’t believe that (although I’m sure there’s plenty of people outside my head who would concur, though). What it is is the Universe saying – be careful. Remember this? Be kind. We’re always moving forward. Every day is better than the last. Look how far we’ve come. Let’s live in a way we never have to feel that way again. Proceed with love. Forgive yourself. Forgive others, too. Because maybe, on the day they said what they said or did what they did – it went into their “asshole” folder. Every mistake we make is a learning opportunity. We can’t grow unless we adjust. These are the thoughts that help steer us in the right direction moving forward. Use the embarrassing thoughts of the past to create the best and brightest future going forward.
