Looking Out My Back Window #146

The backyard doesn’t look any different. Maybe it doesn’t know there’s a pandemic going on. People are dying. And the backyard just does it’s thing. We have some trees back there that will need to be removed soon. I hate doing that. So sad to cut a tree down. Life is full of beginnings and endings, though. And our reality is whatever we decide we’re going to believe about the circumstances we’re presented with. And the decisions we make based on whatever program we’re running our perceptions through. So, for me it’s very sad to lose a tree. Even sadder to lose a pet – saying goodbye to my companion animals over the years – some of the saddest memories I’ve ever had. But oddly enough – I was the only person in the room when my mother died at age 97. I watched her fade away. Pretty sure the last words she heard were, “Mom, it’s your son David. I’m here. I love you”… wow. Yeah, that memory is also filled with emotion. There’s certainly a ton of sadness in that memory, but it was also her time. It was oddly peaceful. She was a strong, vibrant woman who never would have wanted to live the way she lived the last few years of her life – unable to see or hear very well. Unable to carry on anything but the simplest conversations. Everybody dies, and dying peacefully of old age isn’t such a bad way to go I guess. We don’t get to choose how and when we die, though. We don’t get to choose how and when the people in our lives will leave us, either. We do get to decide what our thoughts are about death, and how that will affect us while we’re living and as we’re losing the people and things around us that we love. Death of a loved one can have lasting effects on us if we let it. Good and bad I guess – once the memories are all we have, it’s up to us what to focus on. The love, the joy, the passion, the intellectual stimulation we found from having special people in our lives that we’ve lost can make us smile and laugh and love more than we ever could without having met them. And the sadness for having lost a loved one can eat us up, too if we let it. I think the younger we are the less we think about death and dying – it seems so far away. Like it’ll never happen. But more people are thinking about the importance of just being alive now than in a long, long time. And we all handle what’s going on in the World in our own way. Some people say they’re willing to take their chances, and we can’t live in fear – just live our lives and let the chips fall where they may. I totally understand that. Others say we need to be cautious, slow the spread, and maintain social distancing as long as possible. I really understand that line of thinking as well. Many of us are somewhere in the middle, sick of not being able to do much, but still taking precautions. Our reality is whatever we decide we’re going to believe about the circumstances we’re presented with… but this time, what we choose to believe can possibly affect other people as well. Which can lead to indecision. You want the bars and restaurants to reopen, but are you really ready to be in a crowd of strangers?… what if you find out you’re the one who had the virus, and you transmitted it to someone who died?… What a crazy time we’re living in. While we’re in it, we can spend our moments in activities that serve us, though. We can get all those things done that we never had time for. We can learn how to play an instrument, or paint, or start a new fitness regime. We can read. We can meditate & journal. We can make sure that while we’re here, and of sound mind & body, that we’re spending every moment in the best way we possibly can. Because we never want to get to the end regretting we took our moments for granted. It’s better to get there and say, “Wow, what a crazy ride that was! I packed a love of life into the time I was given.”