Originally posted on Facebook HERE
Happy Sunday, everyone! This is the 208th week I’ve written a “looking out my back window” post. Four full years. Wow. Time really flies. Why did I start it? Why do I do it? I don’t know, at some point it just became habit. So this week I’ve got a couple things on my mind – one is habits. Habits usually start out by doing something fun – playing guitar, singing, reading, running, drinking and/or using drugs – whatever it is… and liking it so much you want to do it some more. And if you like it enough it gets added to your routine and becomes a habit. Once you have a habit they can be very hard to break. Drugs and alcohol = bad habit. But people start using them at first because it makes them feel good. By the time you realize you’re no longer drinking from the bottle – the bottle is sucking the life out of you… the habit is entrenched. Habits can be super hard to break. One of the toughest things I ever did – quit drugs and alcohol. But I had to let that habit take me to a very low, dark point in my life before I had the motivation to make the change. Even a good habit can become a burden, though. I recently got in the habit of running 2 miles a day every day – I went 294 days in a row before ending that streak. By the end running wasn’t as fun for me as it was at first. Now I do different types of running not quite as often and the fun and challenge is back. As an obsessive/compulsive person I watch for signs that I have a new habit developing or an old habit that no longer serves me. When a habit no longer brings you joy, it’s time to look elsewhere. And the other thing on my mind lately has to do with interpersonal relationships. In sales we build a business mainly by using good people skills and communication. But no matter who you are, you can’t control how someone else will view you. And depending on what context they first meet you in and where your head is at on any given day – it could very well change their concept of who you are and how they see you. I know people who think I’m arrogant, self-centered, opinionated, mean, sharp tongued, and somewhat scary. Yet many others see me as kind, funny, loving, generous, happy and passionate. Depending on the day and context I can be all those things. But inside?… I’m just really trying to be the best human being I can be. I’m really trying. I’m not out to rip anyone off, or hurt anyone else in any way. I’d like to help people and make the world a better place for having been in it if I can. And in so doing, I will meet others who will not see me as that person at all. And I will have to deal with other people and wonder how could they be such a terrible person as well. And in the end we’re all just looking for love in whatever ways we can find it. We won’t find it with everyone and that’s ok. Find your tribe, hang with the people who see your soul for what it is and make your heart sing. My tribe begins with my wife Laurie, to me the best example of a human being I know of. You might not see her that way, but you’d be wrong (some say I’m opinionated). We’re married for 23 years as of today. Nobody gets to see and understand my true self, where my soul lies, like she does. I need to remind myself to not be so critical internally. If I have a great day but question one thing I said that could possibly have been viewed badly by the person I was dealing with – my mind will focus on the one bad thing at the end of the day. How could I be such an asshole? (Sigh)… that’s where the tribe comes in. We need people around us to reach out to because we won’t always feel great about who we are, even when we know we’re doing the best we can.