Looking Out My Back Window #331

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Originally posted on Facebook HERE

Today’s photo is a little fuzzy… and a little off kilter. It happens. Sometimes it happens to our thinking. Circumstances can affect our thoughts. So can sleep. And activity… and interactions with other people… and we’ll always have ups and downs. Whether you’re climbing or sliding, the momentum can carry you along for the better or the worse. When you’re dealing with a major life event – loss of a loved one, divorce, debilitating illness, accident, change or loss of work, etc… sometimes nothing makes sense. Your whole existence feels like it’s in “limbo”… nothing feels settled at all. Emotions are all over the place. We question what we thought we knew, who we thought we were, what’s really important. And we can let the unsettling times in our lives bring us down if we’re not careful. “Why is this happening to me?”… “What’s the point?”… And all the negative thoughts that can follow – like “I’m such an asshole. I hate myself. I’m not sure I even want to live anymore”, etc… the black hole of self insecurity and hatred. It’s very real. And sad, and scary. And not so easy to pull out of, either. Even if you realize you are the one who created all those horrible thoughts, emotions and feelings – and that if you could just reframe everything in your own mind you could move forward in a positive way… realization and actualization often seem to be mutually exclusive. And your life is fuzzy and out of kilter. We will all go through times like these. Sometimes, it’s enough to just realize life will come through you in waves, and right now might be a low tide. But the high tides are coming. Feel the sadness, the guilt, the pain of whatever you’re going through and try to see the lesson hidden within it. It’s often not clear at all while you’re going through it. Sometimes it takes years before you look back and see the way past events that weren’t any fun at all at the time have benefitted you long term. But, as I’ve said many times in the past – our lowest lows set us up for our highest highs in life. Every bad thing that happens to us carries the seed of an equal and opposite benefit if we look for it. Easy to say, not easy to internalize while we’re going through those times in life. Not at all. Personally, my biggest issue I ever had was alcohol and drug use. I seriously questioned my will to live many times back then. I really didn’t like who I was at all, how I treated people – or how I treated myself, really. I often came off as overly egotistical back then, but it was really a mask to hide mountains of insecurity. And quitting using didn’t change my life instantaneously, either – it never does, and probably never will. I had to throw away the shovel that I had been digging a hole in my life with and start creating steps to dig myself out – and it took years. I’m still working on it. Aren’t we all? We never get to the point where we think “life is great” and just feel that way forever, every minute of every day. “Life is suffering” – Buddha. Best we can do is see suffering for what it is, and make the best of it. Sometimes we just need to wallow in it a while. Once clarity is restored, it’ll never be the same, either – we get a new appreciation for the good times by getting through the bad. I wish nothing but the best in times for everyone reading this, but reality says there will be bumps in the road. Bumpy roads make us appreciate the smooth ones. High tides are coming.