Originally posted on Facebook HERE

I’ve been thinking about emotions a bit this week. Specifically, why do we categorize some emotions and feelings as better than others, and why do we sometimes work so hard not to feel emotions we think could be viewed by others as weak, or unstable? Another thing about emotions – why are so many people uncomfortable allowing themselves to actually feel them? Happiness, love & joy are some of the feelings most people would categorize as “good”. Before I go any further here, I will say this about the subject matter for today, and I think those of you that know me personally will bear this out: I’m pretty good at feeling and showing my emotions. If I’m happy, sad or angry – it’ll be fairly obvious. I wear my heart on my sleeve and have little or no problem expressing what I’m feeling to others in most cases. In many cases, not many or any words need to be used because the emotion itself can just be “felt” by others through body language. So that’s where my mind is coming from, but I see so many people who seemingly hold back their emotions for whatever reason. Even the good ones, as I was getting to before I interrupted myself: happiness, love and joy. Do you know people who never seem to be happy or joyous at all? Who don’t smile much, and seem to just go through life without ever showing much emotion, whether it be up or down? Perception isn’t always reality, of course. But to me, if I’m happy, I want to feel it. I want you to see it. I want the whole damn sunshine, lollipops and rainbows experience. My God, we have so little time. Eat that happy meal when you get it, then ask for more. And love? Feel it if and when you’re lucky enough to get it. And show it. Love, man – you don’t even need to have any religious or spiritual feeling at all to feel love. Why on earth would we hold love back? Yet we do. Because sharing happiness and love makes us vulnerable. And God forbid we are somehow embarrassed or hurt by another person who chooses to be feeling and expressing anger or hatred on that day. Better to just keep it inside. Safer. But, really – is life about not feeling happiness and love? Or any emotions? What about the “negative” ones – like sadness, anger and hatred? Are we to feel them, too? I would say “yes”. Let me start with “sadness”. When did it become shameful for men to cry? What a ridiculous notion. You want to hold back sadness and tears because of some outdated notion that this is what men do, you go right ahead. But for me personally, I choose to feel that pain. To cry and grieve when it’s called for. It’s funny to me that anger is probably a more acceptable emotion for a man to express than sadness. Anger and hatred – should we feel these? Let people see that we’re angry, or have hatred in our hearts? Not quite as easy to look at these emotions and say “I want to feel the full feeling of my anger and hatred”. But, I’ll tell you, if I’m angry – you’ll know it. If I have hatred in my heart, I will allow myself to feel it. There are so many horrific things people do to each other and other beings that make me angry, and I can feel hatred in my heart towards the people involved. But, like anything – what do we do with our emotions? Feel them and work through them?… suppress them? Or become obsessed with them? Any emotion can create a negative spiral in life if and when it becomes an obsession. Life is all about feelings and emotions. What do we have if we won’t feel them? If we want a life of passion, we have to be passionate. So, feel the feelings, whatever they are. Because feelings, unfelt, don’t go away – they build up inside us, and eventually – they’re going to make it to the surface. Face and feel them as they happen and live the time you have with passion 🙂

1 Comment

  1. Expanding on one of your thoughts, when I grew up men were considered weak for crying but anger was acceptable while crying in women was acceptable, but anger was not. In some ways we were all expected to hide our emotions, and that is changing and I think that is a good thing.

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