Originally posted on Facebook HERE
No snow. Yay! Spring is here. So, I’ve been thinking this week about people who have the ability to just blow things off without consideration of how it affects anyone else. It’s not exactly an ability to covet. It came into my mind as I’m working on getting my music room back up and running and I remembered years ago, when I was turning it into a recording studio, I bought a ton of gear from a guy who said he’d come to my house, help me set it up and help us record the first session there (which became the CD “Murray Tracks” by Amy Jo Doty). So, the day comes, the musicians arrive, we’re all set to go… and the guy doesn’t show. Doesn’t answer his phone. He knew how important it was to me. He just totally blew it off. Maybe never even planned on coming, I don’t know – he got the sale for all the gear, though. And we were left to figure it out on our own, which we did, but it cost us a lot of time as we weren’t exactly recording engineers. This happens every so often with me, I’m sure most of you have had something like this happen in your life – set an appointment, make plans, move your schedule around to accommodate someone – and they don’t show, don’t call. Once in a while it’s just flat out an honest mistake, I get that. But I’m talking about the people who can just blow it off, and then when confronted have an attitude of indifference about it – or worse yet, somehow try blaming you. One other time, I had scheduled three or four appointments with a guy to get together to discuss using his business at our office. He blew off every single one – no show, no call. After the last one, I confronted him and told him I would never use his business or refer him to anyone because I couldn’t even trust he’d ever show up after the multiple appointments he had blown off. And he was incredulous about it, tried to make it out like somehow it was my issue. Wow. So – I had a recent instance where an appointment was blown off, the guy answered his phone, was totally shitty about it – he decided he didn’t want to get together, knew for a while he wasn’t coming in and just blew it off, then was like angry I even called to see if he was coming. Who are these people? I can’t live like that. If I tell you I’m going to be there, I’m going to be there. Or I’ll call and let you know if something comes up. Nobody is probably ever 100% here, things happen, you forget to write something down, get the wrong day or time – but people who just set things up then don’t show and do it with regularity – makes me wonder a couple things. What kind of people are they? What goes on in their heads that this doesn’t matter to them? And number two – what are they here to teach the rest of us? Tolerance?… Trust?… maybe it’s trust. What are relationships without trust? It ends a lot of marriages. I certainly won’t use a business I don’t trust, I’ve stopped using companies I thought were taking advantage of me in the past. But on a personal level, if you’re going to blow things off without regard, I have little interest in spending time with you either. I don’t like cutting corners in any area of my life. Do the best you can, every way you can, any way you can. When people know your word is your bond, it still means something. Maybe now more than ever. Trust, once lost, isn’t easily recovered.