Looking Out My Back Window #221

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Originally posted on Facebook HERE

There’s a photo I took of my wife Laurie in 2017 in back of our house holding our dog Cosmo at a time when we knew he was dying. Whenever I see it it crushes me. Just breaks my heart. He was the coolest little dood. We did all we could and stayed with him until the end. He died in front of us of natural causes in our kitchen. It was emotionally draining. Have you ever watched as a living soul exits this earth in any way? Every living thing in your life will die at some point, including you. In my business, I’m almost always involved with helping the people left behind cope with the loss of a loved one. Sometimes it’s quick and unexpected, other times it’s watching someone or something you love fade away. This weekend that photo has been on my mind because I’m dealing with a lot of people who have lost loved ones recently, and it got me thinking about all the times I’ve had to watch as people and/or animals I loved pass away. It’s a lot. That photo brings back all the emotion of that time for me. The memories can be peaceful or painful I guess depending on the situation. With Cosmo, the loss was so great we couldn’t think about getting another dog right away, but I think we both will swear he had a hand in our getting Gizmo somehow. I was there when my dog Fang was put to sleep – it was awful. I second guess myself on decisions I made at that time to this day. The vet asked if I would like her to get a “calming” shot before the final shot and I said yes – if it makes it easier for her, do whatever it takes. It made her sick. She threw up, it was horrible. I had no idea that was a possible side effect. I beat myself up to this day for how I handled that. I’m so sorry. Then our other dog Bones was dying a few months later and it was just so peaceful and serene. It was her time. I was the only one in the room when my mother died. The last words she heard were “Mom, it’s your son David. I’m here. I love you.” She passed so peacefully. It was her time. But she faded slowly away over twelve years after getting e-coli poisoning at 85 years old. One of the strongest, most independent women I have ever known. Smart, funny… by the end she couldn’t see or hear very well. Couldn’t read. Couldn’t watch TV. She just sat there waiting to die. Very sad. My father had a heart attack and I just got a call one night letting me know he was gone. Wow. I was 22. It was my first major loss. At that age I guess you maybe think everyone is going to live forever, including yourself. But we don’t really get to choose which way we’ll go, or how we’ll lose our loved ones. Or when. The reality of our limited time is brought home heavily during these times. I’m admittedly spread very thin in my life – I have a lot going on, always. Maybe most of us do. Every once in a while I’ll go look at that photo of Laurie and Cosmo, though – and think about if I have my priorities straight. I’ll post it below. It’s a beautiful moment captured in time. But brutally sad for me. And a very important reminder of just how fleeting life really is. And, to me – the importance of being the best person I can be. Loving freely. Helping whenever I can. Doing the right thing. And being there for others when they are in the middle of losing someone or something near and dear to them…


  1. I love that picture. Thanks for sharing it. I would like to read more from you about handling grief. I know that is up to every individual to “get through,” in whatever way works for them. I just would like your perspective on it if you are willing to share. I am selfishly glad you are writing and sharing. I am always open to learning. 😉

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