Originally posted on Facebook HERE
Man… December 10th already? Wasn’t it January 1st yesterday? Where did this year go?… and that’s how time is, right – it blows by. And how do we spend our time these days?… I spend a lot of time sitting because I have an office job. I spend a lot of time online, too – whether it’s social media, fantasy football, or music & musical gear… a lot of time online. I also spend a lot of time watching TV, too. Shows, movies, whatever… hours of time most days, actually. And I’m ok with all of it. Because I like it all. I’m not really ever doing something I don’t want to do, or don’t like to do. I love my job. All the things I do online are fun for me. I like watching movies and TV shows. Do I think I could do more, be better, get more done, live healthier, etc if I made some changes? Yes, I do. Do I want to make any changes? Ah… there’s a question. A really good question, actually – one we seem to revisit every year around this time. “New Year’s Resolutions” ya know. Gyms see a huge uptick… for a month or two. We swear we’re going to do this, change that – force ourselves to be better through the sheer power of our will… and, we seldom do. You can’t force yourself to do anything you don’t really want to do. You need a burning desire first. I know all about burning desires. Burning desires for change often are rooted in our biggest failures in life, and I’ve had a few. Drugs & alcohol took me to the place where I found the first burning desire – to be sober. That one is ingrained in me now for over 35 years. After becoming sober, I saw that I wasn’t living my life in line with my own internal moral code of ethics at all. And a month after I quit drugs and alcohol, I quit eating meat. I quit wearing animal products. The idea of doing either of those things never enters my consciousness anymore. It’s no longer a part of me, but the initial change – I needed a burning desire to make that change. Both changes were scary and unsettling at the time as I learned a new way to live, but that’s how we grow, right? Since then I seem to fight a daily battle within myself regarding staying physically fit. Like I said, I sit a lot – at work, at the computer, in front of the TV, etc… humans are designed to be way more active than I am most of the day. So I workout, I run, I do yoga, I meditate, a get regular massages and acupuncture, and I’m crazy meticulous tracking my health – weight, heart rate, heart rate variance, sleep, etc… tracked on a daily basis. I know the foods that will lead to weight gain. I know the way poor sleep affects my readiness. I know the weight that will create problems with my asthma. And if I even approach that weight (185), my disgust with myself will give me the burning desire to make a change. Last two times that happened – around 2006, then again in 2020 – I went on some crazy daily heath regimes I have a hard time believing I stuck with when I think about them today. From 2006-2009 or so (I wasn’t tracking so good back then), I ran 2+ miles a day every day for over two years. My weight went from 195 (highest I’ve ever been) to 165 and bottomed out close to 155. I changed my eating habits at the time, too. I felt fantastic. I love being 165 pounds. But to get there is an insane amount of work. I fell out of it, and my weight came back up to what I seem to “normally” be (183 pounds). I kinda go back & forth between 180-183. In 2020 when the pandemic hit the gym shut down and I got over 185 again. When it affects my breathing, that gives me the burning desire again. I decided to run 2+ miles every day, do yoga every day, write 3 pages every day, read 10 minutes every day, and meditate every day to combat it. I did that for 292 consecutive days. Got down to 165 pounds again. Loved how I felt, but at that point the work I was putting in was no longer fun for me. I love to run, but not if it’s become a job. I love yoga, too – but with no breaks at all you can start to resent it. So I fell out of it again, and I’m back at 183, a comfortable weight for me. And as we head into the new year, as much as I’m always beating myself up because I’m not doing enough, not accomplishing enough, not working hard enough to produce the superior results I expect of myself… I have no resolutions this year besides this: “be kinder”. To others, yes – but for God’s sake, man – to yourself. Find the magic in every moment. Unleash all the love and passion you have – why die holding it in? Put it in everything you do. And run and do yoga and be conscious of eating right and taking care of yourself along the way. And when you get that burning desire, follow it until it burns out. Sometimes it becomes a part of who you are, other times it’s just a part of a much bigger story. But burning desires usually lead to a positive change. And we don’t have the time to ignore them. One more year just passed. How many more do you have?… not many. Be kinder. Live with love. These are my resolutions this year. Thanks to all of you who read and respond to these messages weekly as I ponder exactly what the hell we’re all doing here, and how we can be the best people possible…
